"External validations" and "projections" - I never knew how destructive they were!!

Today I have on my heart to share about “external validations” and “projections”!

As someone that spent more than half my life being ONLY externally validated, with no sense of self, except for what people told me at any given moment, including family, friends, mates, co-workers, religion and society, I feel like I have some credibility and expertise on this matter.

I am not that person any longer!

It was quite the journey to “crawl” out of that. It was long (decades long)! It took an open heart and mind to be willing to see and hear! It took commitment to myself and to the truth! It was complex, but once I got the truth from my head into my heart, it was clear and simple! It was a journey of trying to discover who I was, which when you don’t know anything, or where to begin, that is quite the thing to do. But my drive and search for freedom to be me was relentless and I am resilient. So there was nothing that was going to stop me from finding what I didn’t even know to find. I didn’t know what it was even supposed to feel or look like. I just knew that I would know it when I found it.

And I did!! I am now free to be me. I know who me is!! I live in peace, and now am internally validated. Now, no one can move me as to who I am, what I want, what I don’t want, my mission in this life, and so much more.

I cannot put into words, what it feels like to be free to be me and that it has finally happened!! It brings “good” tears to my eyes, and joy to my heart. It almost feels surreal at times, because that journey was so long, had so many twists and turns, and, at times felt so unreachable.

I share all this because one of the most recent things that has come to light for me is regarding “projections”.

Think about if you are a 100% externally validated person, and you are experiencing someone projecting onto you their issues continually, add in a little “gaslighting”, you will be completely dessimated, controlled, and in survival “cognitive dissonance” mode continually, NEVER finding a way out!!! Then add in that you are an empath who feels and absorbs everything, and have never even heard the word or concept of “projections”. The depth of the pain and being lost to yourself and to everything is beyond measure!!

This is the thing, here is the truth…

Projections are NEVER about you! ALWAYS about the other!

If we can really truly know who we are, then we can become more aware about what is theirs and what is ours. I can’t express enough how important all that is!! It is really not optional to know yourself and 100% love yourself.

This is how you can recognize projections, and not do what I did, which was believe all them, absorb all their stuff as my own and carry the responsibility of all in my life. I can promise you, this is not a way to live.

So recently, I am seeing and hearing when “projecting” is happening. I have no reaction to them when someone is doing that. I realize that is theirs. AND I feel no need to defend, prove or anything like that, because whatever they “project” or say or do, is about them, AND they will never determine who I am. I do!!!!

Again, it is so amazing and I just don’t have the words to express what I am feeling!!

So Joybelle and I have shared in the hopes that maybe something might move from your head to your heart, or you “saw” or “heard” something, that you had not considered or may have resonated with you!!

We love you! All we want is for as many as we can reach to experience this freedom!! There really is nothing better!! 💜💙💜

Lynda & Joybelle